So It's Been Awhile

 Hello to anyone who may be reading this. It has been months since I've last written, and a lot has changed in that time. First of all, I am not at my old farm anymore. That barn sold, and I moved to one only a couple minutes from my house. So I didn't get to finish my show season on Appy. I stopped leasing him in June, because he moved to a farm very very far away. Which kind of sucked.  Saying goodbye to the horses, people, and barn that had become my salvation and my first real taste of hunter/jumpers was really hard. And I can't honestly say I don't wish I could go back to that time. It was so much simpler. Luckily I have seen and ridden Appy since then, and he even moved to a barn closer to me! He's doing great, and I'm so happy he's still part of my life.
   Littles came with me to my new barn! Which has truly been great. She has improved so so so much and so have I. She is now a calm, honest, amazing pony. The pony I always believed she was. I love her with all of my heart, and am so proud of how far she's come. She took me from the 2 ft hunter to schooling 1m jumper courses! The horse she is now is the horse I always knew she was on the inside, and it just took a little bit of work to get her to the point where she is now.
   But life hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns. I grew. I grew a lot. I'm too big for my wonderful little pony. As much as I try to deny it, I'm simply too big. It's not fair to her, and as much as I'd love to keep her as a pasture pet, she's too good of a pony for that. And even though this is tearing me up so so much on the inside, she needs a new rider. It hurts me so much to say that, but I have to stop being selfish and do what's right for her. Though I would love to keep her forever and ever, it's not the right thing to do anymore. I love this horse so much, and that's why I have to do this.
  So right now my goal is to find her a good home, with a little girl who will love her. With this summer of training, she has become quite the hunter/jumper/dressage pony, and I think there is a little girl out there who is going to love her and enjoy her. I hope I will still be able to visit her, and maybe even ride her every now and then. This is what makes this business so hard. Saying goodbye is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, and it already is. I feel so broken right now, but I know this is the best choice for her. I just hope I've done this amazing little pony proud, and I hope she continues to make her next rider as happy as she's made me. This is just so hard.
   It's so hard to think of the future right now. Every goal and dream I had was with Littles,  and now all those dreams are gone. I feel like I've hit a dead end. I don't know what my next move is, because it hurts so much to think of loving another horse. Even though I know there's another horse out there who needs me, who needs someone to give them a chance, to believe in them, it's so hard to move on. I just really don't know what is happening in my life right now. I guess we will just wait and see what happens.
   Well wish me luck. Go out and huxg your horse because you never know when the circumstances will change. Thank you for reading,
Annie