Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Perseverance and the Constant Struggle

Hi everyone!
I hope you are all having a great day.
 My day was difficult. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I have JIA (Juvenile idiopathic arthritis) which affects my ankles, knees, wrists, hips, and possibly my jaw and elbow. This makes everyday activities a little bit harder, and makes riding a challenge sometimes. Everything was going great, but recently I've had a flare up. Well I've had this problem for about 5 years now, so I've learned how to deal. However dealing with the pain and not letting it get you down are two different things.
   There have been many times when I've thought about giving up riding. Last winter I almost quit hunter jumpers, because it was just too painful to keep my feet in the stirrups. This has always been a thing in my life that has kept me down. Even just the smallest things, it nags at me to stop. My body is fighting against itself. And that internal battle is exhausting. And even when it makes me want to give up riding forever because the pain just becomes too much to handle, horses are what keeps me alive. Riding sets me free. I may not be able to run, or even walk much on some days. But the second i'm on my horse, I am free. For a second I have an excuse to forget the pain and everything I'm thinking about, I can just live. Even if it means walking around bareback for 20 minutes, that 20 minutes is time that I can just forget for a bit.

  Today I'm going to forget for a little bit that this is going on in my life. Today I'm going to focus on the dreams and goals I have. Today I'm going to be thankful for every single chance I get, and for the pony who made it all happen. I have this incredible gift right now, a bond so strong and unbreakable with this beautiful horse who has come so far. And I have the chance to show that we can do this, and those four words just mean so much to me. We can do this. WE can do this. Not me, not the arthritis and negative thoughts that consume me, we. Littles and I. A team. When we are together that constant battle goes away for a little bit, because together I am not suffering. I am the most blessed kid in the whole world. And with no doubt in my mind, we can do this.
   Thank you for reading my ramblings, and remember to believe in yourself and your horse. Go hug your ponies!!!!
Annie

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